That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief

In light of the governor's order yesterday to keep school closed through the end of the school year, the article below is especially apropos. When our closure was temporary, we could find some reassurance that at the end of the closure things would return to normal; we would return to school, reengage in projects, exploration, and learning, but most importantly we would get to reconnect with our school community. With the order to keep schools closed through the end of the year, that reassurance is gone and everything is up in the air. For the class of 2020, this loss is particularly acute. So much comes together for seniors in the final semester, both academically and socially. All of that is now replaced with uncertainty, and the sense of loss, of having the world pulled out from under you. While there are a lot of details to sort out in order to relieve the uncertainty, all you can do about that sense of loss is move through it. Acknowledging it as grief is the first step.

That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief

This brief interview with David Kessler, one of the foremost authorities on grief and loss, is both insightful and accessible. Here's a snippet:

What can individuals do to manage all this grief?

Understanding the stages of grief is a start. But whenever I talk about the stages of grief, I have to remind people that the stages aren’t linear and may not happen in this order. It’s not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world. There’s denial, which we say a lot of early on: This virus won’t affect us. There’s anger: You’re making me stay home and taking away my activities. There’s bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? There’s sadness: I don’t know when this will end. And finally there’s acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed.

Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to work virtually.

Kessler's Grief.com site is a valuable resource for information and help around grief and loss. His FAQ on grief is particularly helpful:

Frequently Asked Question about Grief and Grieving